Category Archives: And finally…

A new height appeared to have been reached in nonsensical health and safety rules, when a Tyneside supermarket ruled that limes were classified as dangerous weapons if bought in quantity.

A sales assistant working at ASDA’s Wallsend store dreamt up the explanation when a faulty self-service till warned that authorisation was necessary after two of the offending fruits were placed on the scale. Customer Marisa Zoccolan explained that when she had called a member of staff to assist, she was told that buying more than one lime is classed as obtaining a weapon because they contain citric acid, which could be squirted into someone’s eyes.

The supermarket later backtracked and said that Marisa was a victim of a staff member’s humour, and offered some complimentary limes as compensation.

Edinburgh City Council sends a set of rules to restaurants and street cafes who apply for pemits to have chairs and tables on the pavement. One of the requirements is that the establishment carry out a full assessment of the wind conditions each morning. Staff have to be instructed and trained in how to decide at what point they should bring in parasols, canopies etc. It is suggested that each business should purchase an anemometer (wind speed measuring device) or make a judgement based on a chart prepared by officials. Helpful hints are that a strong breeze will cause the movement of larger branches on trees, and that “whole trees in motion and resistance felt when walking against the wind” is indicative of a gale.

A council spokesman said: “This is about raising awareness of the need to plan ahead, ensuring that any temporary structure be properly constructed and suitable measures taken to mitigate against the dangers of high winds.”

Daniel Hamilton, assistant manager at the Rose and Crown on Rose Street, said: “This is bizarre. There is no danger of our parasols flying away, especially as they are fitted with concrete bases that weigh about as much I do.” Malcolm Duck, chairman of the Edinburgh Restaurateurs’ Association, said: “It is like a Monty Python sketch.”

Around 20, if the response of Suffolk Fire Services to an incident last month is anything to go by. When Teresa Saunders spotted the stranded feline on a roof in Roberts Road, Leiston, she wasn’t expecting five fire crews to be mobilised. Suffolk County Council said the response was in accordance with national guidelines and “work at height” procedures. This included sending a turntable ladder from Bury St Edmunds, 60 miles away, with two crews, a team from Felixstowe and another from Bungay. However, after a local fire fighter climbed a ladder and collected the cat, the reinforcements were stood down. A spokesman said “If a cat is stuck on a roof, there is a chance the owner could get distressed and try to rescue it themselves and we would end up having to rescue them too. It strengthens our case that we need more people to make sure we have enough cover to cope with the demands of the service.”

For the record, the cat was a tortoiseshell tabby, which ran off as soon as they got it down.

Dubious interpretation of health and safety rules have led to two councils clamping down on the activities of lollipop men. At Shenfield, Essex, lollipop man Ron Warwick has been ordered not to leave the pavement as he tries to assist pupils at a set of traffic lights outside St Mary’s Primary School.The decision was taken after bureaucrats decided that he would not have enough time to get out of the road when the lights change.

He has relinquished his lollipop and is restricted to operating the crossing by pushing the button on the lights. Parents are baffled by this decision.

Not to be outdone, East Sussex County Council got into the Christmas spirit by instructing lollipop man Paul Clevett to remove his festive hat while on patrol. The hat was said to be a distraction to motorists as they passed Forest Row Primary School. Council spokesman Rupert Clubb said: “What we are talking about here is the safety of children. It’s really important that drivers are not distracted and that our crossing patrols are wearing the right equipment, the right clothes, are very visible and can’t cause distractions.”

News comes to us that Macdonald Portal Golf and Spa Hotel in Cheshire has an interesting perspective on risk assessment.

John Freeman had finished dining there with his wife, when he asked the waiter to please get him a toothpick. However, the waiter immediately refused the request on the grounds of health and safety – toothpicks were sharp! Undaunted, and with the bit between his teeth (well, something was in between them…) Mr Freeman demanded to see the manager. Although she said that it may appear somewhat odd, she had to comply with an instruction from head office not to provide toothpicks because they are potentially dangerous and “there’s a law against it.”Mr Freemen happened to mention the numerous metal forks and knives on the table that had been unsupervised all the time, but to no avail.

A local dentist thought that perhaps the ban was to stop diners flicking out a crown and injuring themselves or others and trying to blame the hotel. He went on to say “perhaps the restaurants should keep a roll of dental floss available – I don’t think you can injure yourself with floss.”